“The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.”
– Dieter F. Uchtdorf
I did something, 5 minutes ago, that I’ve felt prompted about for a long while now. Reading my patriarchal blessing I knew there was a something I should be looking for. Listening for. Feeling for. Then, it appeared. It wasn’t a magical “Ta-da!” sort of knowing but a quiet this fits and will work kind of notion.
For years I’ve been trying to figure out how I can possible fit study into my life. I feel pushed, pulled and happily obligated in different directions, if weren’t for the encouragement and God plainly pointing out my talents in my patriarchal blessing I would have probably stay swallowed up in those obligations. But apparently there’s more to be had!
I’m an artistic type but with no real direction as yet, I feel I’m average at a few things but not great at any one thing. Anything I create I don’t feel is good enough. However I’ve discovered that if someone else had created something almost identical I’d genuinely lavish them with praise for their efforts. I need to find the value in my own efforts. Even in writing, I’m almost paralysed at times knowing others will read it and may criticise. Here’s the real zinger, being creative is so much about being vulnerable and standing exposed. It’s uncomfortable. So I’m going to get even more uncomfortable.
Studying interior decoration/styling/design (whatever you want to call it) is my choice of artistic pursuit. I thought I was going to take an art class I’d been looking at for a long while then took a hard right and ran right into this 6 week online course, it felt like a comfy pair of slippers. Exhale. This is it, for now at least, then I’ll be looking, listening and feeling for the next portion of study to propel me forward again. I already know that this course isn’t the end of my learning, there’s more and it will appear and I’ll know.
God leads us along, he guides our path if we’re willing to listen and do. There have been other opportunities and courses thrown my way but nothing has really settled before. Recently I’d discovering that amongst the riggers of daily life I’d lost my ability to dream. To look for something that was only about bettering me and what I felt God wanted me to achieve. It has been hard for me to reconcile the idea that the artistic decoration of spaces was a valid use of time, shouldn’t I be trying to save lives, change political policy or cure something awful? No, just like in the first Tinkerbell movie each of use has differing talents and it’s good, no, CRUCIAL we embrace them.
Taking a step forward into the unknown is uncomfortable. Those things that are worth while are often hard fought and difficult. The pearl, the tree, the butterfly don’t become all that they are without discomfort of some sort. A grain of sand, beating sun, driving rain, the cocoon. See beyond the horizon of your life and get uncomfortable.